NOTHING PERSONAL


A Fan Fiction Inspired By Disney’s “Atlantis: The Lost Empire”
By Karen

CHAPTER 3

Later that evening, after dessert had been finished and stored away for later, I
found myself practicing my martial arts moves by the same beautiful pool as I
had this morning. Again I studied my movements in the water, searching for
some flaw, some sign of going rusty from lack of practice. Being in an overly
critical mood, I found many.
“Still thinking you can best me, outsider?”, Queen Kida’s silvery voice taunted
from nearby.
I rolled my eyes as I turned to face the royal pain. “I could beat you with both
hands tied behind my back, and you know it!”, I shot back.
She smirked. “I know no such thing... Of course if you wish to be thrown into the
pool again...”, her voice trailed off mockingly.
“Forget it!”, I sneered. “I’ve already gone for one swim today!”.
“As have I”, Kida grinned, sitting herself down gracefully on the white marble
steps near the pool, then she looked at me and nodded. “You are permitted to sit
in the presence of the queen”.
“Ooo, what an honor. Thank you so much”, I muttered sarcastically, sitting down
by the edge of the pool.
For the next few moments we sat there in silence, watching as the world around
us darkened and the whitish blue lanterns around the pools and gardens grew
brighter...
Finally, I spoke up. “This really is a beautiful place... It’s just to bad there’s no
moon or stars...”.
Kida looked at me strangely, and I wondered if she had been offended by that
comment...
“I remember stars and the moon...”, she answered thoughtfully. “At night my
mother and father would point out all the constellations to me... and they would
boast that one day Atlantis would build the most powerful flying machines ever,
just so I could reach out and touch them...”.
“You really miss your parents, don’t you?”, I asked softly.
She nodded. “Yes, I lost them both two soon... I never got the chance to say
goodbye to either of them...”.
I knew what had happened to the king of Atlantis, but Kida had never mentioned
her mother before...
“I was only a child at the time of the great flood...”, she continued. “The crystal
cast its beam on my mother... I remember, at first I thought it was a star...”.
I remembered the crystal shining it’s light on Kida that time in the hidden
chamber...
“I tried to grasp her hand...”, the queen sighed. “But she let go... I called for her
to come back... but it was no use... I never saw her again... Now I have both her
loss and the loss of my father on my conscience...”.
I bit my lip... “That was my fault, princess, not yours”, I wanted to say... Instead I
nodded. “I know how you feel... I can’t even begin to count all the things on my
own conscience...”.
“I believe that”, Kida said coolly, raising an eyebrow...
I cleared my throat... then, changing the subject, I asked, “What was your mother
like?”.
Kida shook her head. “I can barely remember her... but she was a wonderful
ruler, and very beautiful...”.
“How do you know?”, I asked.
Kida smiled. “Come with me”, she said, standing up...
Shrugging, I got to my feet and followed the queen back to the palace... We
entered, then Kida led me up a long flight of steps and towards a long corridor,
lavishly decorated with gold, silver and pearl...
“This was my mother’s private quarters”, she explained, leading me into an even
more beautifully crafted bedchamber. “After the great flood this was the only
area of the palace my father would not let grow worn and decaying... I used to
play here in secret as a child...”. Kida then pointed towards the shining ivory
wall. “Look!”.
I looked to where she was pointing... and found myself staring at the exquisite
face of a lovely, exotic young woman who bore a remarkable resemblance to
Kida, though here eyes were softer and her face had a sweeter, more gentle
expression...
Kida smiled, gesturing towards the splendid portrait. “The first Queen
Kidagakash, my mah-timh”.
“Mah-timh...”, I tested the word on my tongue. “That means ‘mother’, doesn’t it?. It
sounds a little like the word I used in Germany... 'Mutti'...”.
“Yes... Yes it does...”, Kida smiled, nodding.
I studied the portrait again... “You’re right, Kida... Your mother is beautiful, inside
and out, you can see that... like mine was... “.
At this, Kida tilted her head... “Now it is my turn to ask, what was your mother
like?...”.
I bit my lip, suddenly regretting having starting this conversation... “Her name
was Katrina...”, I whispered. “She was a teacher in Frankfurt...”.
Kida nodded. “I see, a fine profession. What happened to her?”.
I looked away for a moment... “She... she was taken from us... “, I finally said.
“How?”, Kida wanted to know. “Was she ‘chosen’ by a crystal too?...”.
“No, she was shot!”, I snapped. How could the queen of such a technically
superior culture be so naive?... But my tone softened when I saw the shocked
look on Kida’s face... “She... she was accused and found guilty of murder and
treason... They came and took her away to be executed... Don’t ask me where,
I didn’t bother to find out...”.
The queen’s gaze was sympathetic. “How old were you?...”.
“I was eleven years old...”.
Kida tilted her head with a sort of understanding look in her eyes... “That is not
even a baby here...”, she said gently.
I had to smirk. “Believe me, I was no baby. My father taught me sparring, knife
throwing and gunplay almost before I was old enough to start school”.
“Well then, it is no wonder you were able to match me that day by the pool... I
myself could best warriors twice my size when I was only a young girl”.
“I believe that”, I gave her a small smile.
Kida smiled back. “It appears, Helga Sinclair, that these two woman warriors
have more in common then they first thought”...

“I still can’t believe it”, I grimaced as I joined Thatch and Kida on their usual
outing the next day. “All the technology in the world and you people still eat
squid and sea slugs!”.
“That’s strange, coming from you”, Milo chuckled. “Didn’t you have squid, caviar
and escargot when you worked for Mister Whitmore?”.
“Don’t remind me”, I muttered, rolling my eyes.
Kida crossed her arms defensively, with a cynical smile. “From what I have
heard, you people above the surface have strange customs of your own. Do not
be so critical!”.
“I am not being critical!”, I answered, my hands on my hips.
This led to a rather heated argument between the two of us as we passed the
vendors, market stalls, and fishing rivers, while the various Atlantean vehicles and
machines zoomed above... Finally, Milo interrupted our bickering...
“Hey!”, he cried suddenly, pointing towards one of the rivers. “Look at that!”.
Kida and I looked to where he was pointing... At first the object was so far it was
difficult to make out... Kida thought it might be one of the numerous Atlantean sea
creatures... but as it floated closer I recognized the helmet of Doctor Joshua
Sweet, our crew’s medical officer... Inside the helmet was the burnt out stub of a
candle...
“I... I don’t believe it... “, I exclaimed. “It’s the candle Sweet lighted for those crew
members we lost!”. I never thought that little memorial would make it all the way
to Atlantis!.
Thatch nodded, a sad smile on his face. “Yeah... sure makes you think, doesn’t
it?... I wish they all could have been here to see this, don’t you?”.
I frowned... turning my gaze away from the tiny floating tribute... “Yes...
especially since I am the reason those people are not here to see this... “.
“Helga, how can you say that?”, Milo gasped. “If anyone should be blamed for
our crew’s losses, it should be me! I was the navigator after all!”.
“Yes, and I was the lieutenant!”, I snapped. “I was responsible for making sure
everything on the expedition ran smoothly! I was responsible for keeping
everyone alive!”.
At this, Thatch stared at me through his glasses. “Helga, I never knew you
blamed yourself this much for what happened with the Leviathan... and that
fire...”.
“Well, I do”, I answered.
“Well, you shouldn’t!”, He argued. “All of that was my fault! I...”.
“That is enough, Milo”, Kida interrupted, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Neither
of you should be blaming yourselves for these past misfortunes. What is done is
done”.
I stubbornly set my mouth in a firm line, saying nothing...
“I know, Kida”, Milo answered softly, squeezing her hand. “You’re right”.
She gave him a compassionate look and squeezed his hand back...

“But Mutti”, I pleaded. “It’s still early, can’t I practice my knives with Vati when we
get home?”.
My mother gave me a patient smile as we left the brick building where she
taught. “We’ll see, darling”, she said. “Maybe when you’ve finished your
schoolwork and helped your brothers with theirs, then you can spend a few
minutes practicing with those awful things”.
I made a face. She had never approved of my father teaching me the skills he
had learned when he was in the army, and ever since that time when I was eight
and had snuck off to practice my knife throwing, unsupervised and without the
protective gloves, she had tried everything to discourage it. I remember, I had cut
my hand badly that day, and was taken in for stitches. My mother was about
ready to take both me and Vati over her knees and give us each a good tanning.
She would only relax once Vati promised to stop teaching me if anything even
remotely similar happened again... Eventually, Mutti grew to accept my interest
in activities like sparring and knife throwing, but she disliked it none the less. She
would wince and shudder every time she heard the gun go off when I practiced
my target shooting!.
“Oh, don’t you give me that look, you little sourpuss!”, Mutti scolded with a
chuckle as soon as she saw the look on my face. She gave one of my long
blonde braids a playful tug, making me grin, in spite of myself. “I am supposed to
be spoiling your fun, that’s what mothers are for!”.
“Oh, really”, I smirked. “And what are daughters for?”.
She grinned. “Giving their mothers grey hair before their time”.
Laughing, we made our way down one of the side streets... It was nearing
evening and there were fewer people about then in the mornings and
afternoons...
It was then that I noticed a man, a soldier, about Vati’s age, standing nearby...
He called out a greeting as we passed him, but perhaps my mother did not
admire the way he was looking at us, for she quickly took my hand and marched
us hurriedly by, giving him only a curt nod...
I grasped her hand tighter when I saw that he was following us... Soon he had
caught up, and was standing in front of us...
“Get out of our way, please”, Mutti said, civilly but coldly.
“Now now, frauline”, the soldier answered with a leering smile. “All I did was say
hello, I was only trying to be polite...”. He then fixed his gaze on me... “What a
lovely little girl you have there!. She looks just like you, is she yours?...”.
I froze as he reached out to touch my hair... but my mother was to fast for him.
Quick as a cat she moved between us, and with surprising strength she shoved
him away.
“You try to touch her again, I’ll kill you!”, she hissed.
“Oh, come now, do not be like that”, he smirked. “My, what spirit you have!. I like
a woman with spirit!”.
The next moment he had grabbed my mother by her arms. She tried to pull
away, but he was too strong.
“Helga, go!”, she screamed as she tried to break free of his iron grip. “Get back
home! Hurry!”.
Horrified, I turned and began to run as fast as my skinny eleven year old legs
could carry me... but a frightened cry from my mother made me pause and turn
around...
The soldier had her pinned to the ground. He held her by the throat with one
hand, while his other hand was raised to strike her face...
“Leave her alone!”, I screamed, lunging myself at him. I tried to punch his face,
but he roughly shoved me away before I could raise a hand to strike him. I let out
a hiss of pain as I scraped my knee on the street.
“Helga!”, my mother cried, trying to reach me. “No! Run home!”.
Her attacker grabbed her by her hair and threw her to the ground again. Red in
the face, and breathing heavily, he pinned her down again and started to
strangle her...
Franticly, I gazed about for anyone who could help us, but there was no one in
sight...
It was then that I noticed the soldier’s revolver that had fallen out of his holster... I
seized it, just as a painful gasp from my mother was answered by a vicious cuff
to her face...
Feeling rage and desperation for the first time in my life, I scrambled to my feet,
weapon in hand... Remembering all the lessons in gunplay Vati had given me, I
aimed the gun straight at the attackers heart and pulled the trigger...

I awoke with a startled cry, sitting up in my bed as my eyes snapped open.
Gasping for breath, I wiped the sweat off my forehead. What was the matter with
me?. I thought I had long outgrown that nightmare... that I had shaken off that
memory...
“Damn you, Kida!”, I thought... then my face hardened... “No, damn you, Katrina
Sinclair!”. I clenched my hands in anger. “You just had to take the blame for me,
didn’t you?. You just had to force me to keep my mouth shut, and you just had to
come between me and those soldiers when I tried to stop them from taking you
away!. You let them kill you! You broke all our hearts and took away Vati’s will to
live!. It should have been me!. You already had five sons, you would have never
missed me!”.
I shook my head vigorously. There was no point in getting so worked up now
over something that had happened almost twenty years ago, especially since I
had long made up my mind to move past it, to put it behind me, like I had that
miserable year under my aunt’s thumb... like I had Rourke’s betrayal...
Feeling suffocated, I pulled of my black sweater, to reveal my white sleeveless
shirt, then I made my way outside of the palace where it was cooler...
I walked until I had nearly reached the familiar pool and waterfall... To my
surprise, I saw Thatch and Kida were there already, standing by the water...
They both spun around in unison when they heard me approach...
“Who’s there?”, Milo demanded.
“Keep your toga on, Thatch”, I sighed as I stepped from that shadows. “I don’t
bite”.
“Unless you are told to”, Kida smirked, her hands on her hips.
“Ooo, very funny! Did one of your servants supply that one, or did you make it up
yourself?”.
It was then that Thatch spoke up. “Look, do you two have a word limit you have
to hit every day, or may we continue with what we were doing?”.
I noticed the helmet and burnt out candle stub in his hands. “What exactly are
you doing, Thatch?”, I asked, my voice softening...
He smiled. “Re-lighting the candle, I figured it was the least I could do...”.
“Not without me you’re not”, I said, looking him in the eye.
Thatch nodded steadily, realizing, as I did, the first and probably only thing we
would ever actually have in common...
“You must have cared for those people a great deal”, Kida said gently.
I nodded slowly... “Yes... Rourke used to say that the only family a good soldier
ever needed was the army... “.
“Well, Rourke told you allot of lies, didn’t he?”, Milo said coolly, crossing his
arms.
I glanced towards the water with a sigh... “I guess I can’t argue with you there,
Thatch...”.
The three of us were silent for a moment... then Milo finally took the old burnt out
candle from the helmet and replaced it with a tall, new candle... “You do the
honors?”, he asked, handing me a match...
I took the match, struck it, and lit the candle... Then Thatch set it in the water...
I watched the tiny flame, certain it would flicker out, either from the water or the
wind... Strange, this was the second time that helmet was being set afloat... The
words Rourke had spoken to the remainder of our crew that day came back to
me...
“Seven hours ago we started this expedition with two hundred of the finest men
and woman I’ve ever known. We’re all that’s left. I won’t sugarcoat it, we have a
crisis on our hands, but we’ve been up this creek before and we’ve always come
through, paddle or no paddle”...
“You know”, Milo said, interrupting my thoughts. “My grandpa used to say that
whenever someone who was really good died they became a star so they could
watch over all their loved ones at night... “.
Kida shook her head sadly. “Atlantis has not seen the sun, moon or stars in
thousands of years, Milo, you know that”.
“Besides, Thatch”, I added. “Your grandfather was about as eccentric as
Whitmore, even if he was a great explorer”.
Milo shrugged. “I know, I know”, he said with a thoughtful smile. “But I always
like to think about that whenever I miss him really bad... Besides, just because
you can’t see the stars doesn’t mean they aren’t there...”.
Kida seemed to be considering this... Finally she smiled and nodded. “Perhaps
you are right, Milo... Perhaps all those we have lost are watching over us from
those stars... even if we cannot see them...”.
Milo took her hand... She rested her head on his shoulder while he leaned his
cheek against her hair...
I shook my head with a small smile. Was it just me, or was it becoming more and
more difficult to win an argument with these two?.
Standing at the edge of the pool, our feet almost touching the water, Thatch,
Kida and I watched as the candle’s light grew even smaller as it floated further
and further away into the darkness... but it did not go out...

A bit later, Kida and I were on our way back to our rooms for the night... As we
turned down one of the corridors we ran into Kash and Neda...
The minute the two of them saw us they rushed up, smiling.
“Kida! Helga!”, Neda laughed as the queen swept her up into her arms.
“And what are you two doing up so late?”, Kida tussled the little girls hair.
“Waiting for you”, Kash answered as I reluctantly let him take my hand.
I looked at Kida questioningly.
The queen smiled. “Their parents work here. They are busy elsewhere tonight,
and I volunteered to watch them while they are away”.
“Come with us, Helga?”, Neda asked.
“I... I don’t think so... This is Kida’s job...”, I began to protest.
But Kash pulled me by the hand. “Come on, please?”.
I knew I would never hear the end of it from these little troublemakers if I
continued to refuse, so I rolled my eyes with a sigh as the little boy led me down
the corridor...
I followed them until we reached one of the palace’s beautiful, well furnished
suites... While Kida helped them on with their nightclothes and tucked them into
their beds, I watched from the doorway...
“Kida?”, Neda asked, as she sat up in bed. “Can we give it to her now?”.
I crossed my arms and tilted my head. What was she talking about?.
Kida sighed... “Well... I suppose it is alright with me... just as long as you are
sure you want to do this...”.
“Yes”, the girl answered readily, and Kash nodded.
“Alright then, but despite what Milo says, I think this is a mistake”. Kida then
turned to me and gestured for me to come over.
“What do think is a mistake?”, I demanded, standing beside Kida. “What’s going
on?”.
Kida stood up. “This was against my better judgment, but the children and Milo
thought you should have this, as you will be living in Atlantis from now on”.
Neda smiled as she produced an object wrapped in a silk handkerchief from the
pocket of her nightdress. “Kida says outsiders should not be treated as trusted
citizens, but since you are one of the surface travelers that helped save Atlantis,
we agreed that you deserved this”. She handed the gift to me...
I eyed Kida... “So...”, I whispered, so the children could not hear. “You haven’t told
them the whole story, have you?...”.
She returned my gaze, a small smile on her lips. “No... and I have not told them
of your attempted escape either...”.
I stared at her in shock. “How... how did you know about that?...”.
“I am the queen of Atlantis, am I not?”, she answered, a mischievous look in her
eye.
“What are you whispering about?”, Kash asked.
I shook my head with a grin. “Oh, nothing, nothing”.
“It would not have interested you”, Kida added quickly.
Neda’s face grew eager. “Then won’t you open your gift, Helga?”, she prodded.
“Please?”.
“Alright”, I said. “Alright, I’m working on it”. I then folded away the layers of silk...
My eyes widened when I saw a blue crystal necklace shining in the dimming light
around the room... I recognized it as the same crystal all of the Atlanteans wore,
to be connected to the larger crystal that was the life and power source of their
city...
Kash and Neda smiled. “This can heal you and give you long life. It can also
make our machines and everything work”, the little girl proclaimed proudly.
I nodded. “I know how it works... Thank you... “. I hardly ever wore jewelry, but
this was something far more different...
Kida eyed me thoughtfully for a moment... then she turned to the children.
“Alright you two, since it is very late, and far past your bedtime, we shall have
time for only songs or stories tonight, which shall it be?”.
I started towards the door as Kash and Neda argued over who would get to
decide. Finally, Kida stopped their quarrel by choosing a song... She sang one
first in Atlantean... I found myself just able to make out a few words... I felt
ridiculous by staying, but to curious to leave...
Soon the song was over... I turned to leave... It was then that my hand froze on
the doorknob... Kida was singing another lullaby, only this time it was one that
was familiar to me... and she was singing it in a tongue that I knew only to well...

Schlaflied, schlaflied, mein lieblich
(Lullaby, lullaby, my lovely one)
Schlaf drin mondhell silberhell strom
(Sleep in moonlit silvery stream)

Ansteigend oben langsam absegelnd
(Up above so slowly sailing by)
Mond wandert durch himmel
(The moon roams across the sky)

Softly and unnoticed, I left the room as the children began to fall asleep... For a
second I just stood there in the corridor, my back to the door as I absently
fingered the crystal pendant around by neck...
I remembered that lullaby... Closing my eyes, I whispered the final part of the
song to myself...

Schlaflied, schlaflied, mein lieblich
(Lullaby, lullaby, my lovely one)
Intem dein augen sowie susse phantasiere
(Close your eyes and sweetly dream)...